The Case Against Marriage! (Happy Valentine's Day!)

Did I get your attention?

Let me begin by saying my own marriage is inextricably linked to my spiritual path and whatever growth towards divine wisdom and love has unfolded in forty years of marriage is due in no small part to the love, loyalty, perseverance and divine attunement of my wife.

For this my gratitude knows no bounds. The high bar of high ideals in daily life and unconditional, divine love in marriage are, however, more than a little daunting and I make no personal claims beyond my gratitude for the opportunity to change and grow, however slowly. 

Who can deny the depth of human desire for love? Is not so much of history, drama, literature, and daily life imbued with its impulses? Deep though it be, we are taught that its depth is depthless, for it is rooted in the memory of perfect, unconditional divine love. It can never be permanently extinguished. It can only be perfected in union with God, the source of all love. 

So embedded is the human desire, that even those whose own marriage is less than successful will shed a tear or two at a wedding of the younger generation. Or gaze longingly at the beauty and charm of youth, sex, and romance.

Despite the obvious mundane-ness of marriage in daily life; despite the arguments, the gradual loss of beauty, dignity, and mutual respect; the cross over of boundaries, demands, and selfishness; it is truly astonishing that such an "institution" should remain with us. Modern culture and mores no longer insist upon formal marriage yet it persists. 

Paramhansa Yogananda used to wax a bit skeptical in the face of those who sigh longingly at the image and fantasy of forever romance. In his day (1920's and 1930's when divorce was beginning to be more common), he described American marriages as too often a marriage between "a pretty shade of lipstick and a bow tie!" (Meaning: a case of superficial attraction).

Swami Kriyananda often described marriage as an enormous "compromise of the ideal of unconditional love." "No two people could possibly be all and all for one another unless they each were impossibly dull or stupid."

"Best of friends" -- yes, ok, for sure. But today, Valentine's Day, we contemplate romance.

Marriage even by the force of nature begins with attraction, romance and sex, then moves to having children, a mortgage, bountiful troubles of innumerable kinds, and, if it survives all that, smooths over towards a wonderful friendship: and that's if it goes well. Most do not. Or, from what I keep hearing: half do not!

But as Yogananda put it, "Those who have to marry by compulsion of desire will have to experience disillusionment until someday (one assumes this requires countless lifetimes) the desire fades away."

On the long journey from desire to dharma, which is to say from subconscious compulsions to maturity, one's relationships change accordingly. Disillusionment is insufficient grounds for soul liberation. The "take-away" must be balanced by a "take-up": love for God, increasing in both intensity and purity.

Our souls are neither male nor female. Our souls are "sparks" of the Infinite Flame of unconditional love. As St. Augustine put it, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee."

Most people (say, what, 98%?) should marry. As St. Paul put it (somewhat crudely), "Better to marry than to burn." Why, well, just look at the unremitting parade of scandals from religious circles to Hollywood Bowl: testimony to the power of attraction and consequence of both suppression and indulgence.

When respect, moderation, and high ideals enfold a couple like a cocoon of Light at the Altar of Friendship, then they will nurture their love to grow towards the perfect love of God.

On this Valentine's Day it would be appropriate to affirm the ideal of divine love. To see in one another the Divine Presence of Father or Mother or Divine Beloved.

Divine Mother is the Cupid who instills in our hearts a "shot" of Her unconditional and eternal love. Her arrow, straight from the heart of eternity, can remind us, too, to be a straight "shooter," seeking Her love alone, even if also through those who love us and those to whom we are naturally attracted.

It is God's love that has been made manifest in the impulse for human love. When we forget that, we will suffer the inexorable law of karma, duality, and separateness.

We are compelled by the law of karma to seek to manifest and perfect human love until it becomes the perfect love of God.

We cannot achieve God's love if we cannot love and be loved by others.

Let, then, Divine Mother be our Valentine! 

"May Thy love shine forever on the sanctuary of my devotion!"

Swami Hrimananda

Is Human Happiness Enough? Finding the "Third Rail"

Swami Yogananda (aka Paramhansa Yogananda) signaled the theme of his life's work and teachings in his very first book, "The Science of Religion." [

That book was ghostwritten by a friend of his and it was somewhat poorly articulated. Swami Kriyananda re-wrote or re-presented its theme in his own book, "God is for Everyone."]

The theme could be described as "How to be Happy!" I won't attempt to describe his book and its precepts but I do wish to begin with this common word, "happiness."

"Happiness" is a rather vague word, connoting to most people a state wherein one has all the comforts and satisfactions of material existence, including a few excitements and high points along the way. A good job, career, recognition, family, friends, home, pleasures, and monetary security--these are among the "treasures and pleasures" usually considered to bring us "happiness."

Reflective humans, both in their own life and in observing the lives of others on the planet, conclude that this kind of happiness, which I will call, "human happiness," is fraught with uncertainty. These ordinary satisfactions come and go, all too often tainted by both their disappearance and their opposites.

No matter how large our bank account or how high our status or how large our house or car, there's always more. There are bigger homes; higher pay or status;  and faster and newer cars. 

Then too there's the inevitable troubles brought by competition, repairs and upkeep. One's beautiful wife or high status husband might stray or become disillusioned, despondent, or ill. Your perfect child might end up disappointing your high expectations.

And, last of all, you can be certain that even if you manage to carry all these good things to the end of life, you can't take them with you. Such forms of happiness are far from certain and fodder for insomnia or worse.

I saw a joke recently in which the question was asked about super-healthy people: "What will they die of, nothing?" 

And then think of the 99% of have none of these "things."

Is human happiness possible? Is it enough? In "Autobiography of a Yogi," Paramhansa Yogananda writes, "for wisdom, too, do we hunger" (not just for food, shelter, etc.)

One time honored response is to simply become a stoic: accepting life as it comes, neither especially high or low. The dullness that covers our heart in this state of mind has a certain practicality and groundedness, and not a few votaries down through the ages follow its path, but is it really all that satisfying? 

Another is to energize one's commitment to "get mine while I can." Ok, sure: this sounds really satisfying, doesn't it?

It may take our souls countless lifetimes to pursue every possible form of human happiness before we throw in the towel and break one way or the other, but eventually, one finds the "third rail."

God is the "third rail:" the electrifying force that powers the universe and the life of all beings. "I am the light and life of the world" (3 Ne. 11:10–11). 

As the universe is incomprehensibly old so God, the indwelling "life and light of men" can patiently wait. We have been given choice and reason. We do not merely get zapped by this electrifying conscious, blissful Force and find ourselves enlightened. We must consciously seek it. And what we seek is to be more than merely conscious in a human body and ego. In the end, however we may define it (whether as "God" being an anthropormorphic entity or an abstract Force). What we find is what is already there within and in front of us: Infinity itself.

Talk to God. Share your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and moments of human happiness. Turn within in silent, inner communion (aided by the science of meditation). "Be still and know that I AM." Pray for guidance and the light of an unerring conscience. Pray to be an instrument of the light to those around you. 

God has sent to us those who have achieved Self-realization. It is not so easy to approach Infinity directly. It is easier to approach God through those who have become "the sons of God." If I AM THAT I AM, then there must be those who already KNOW THAT and who can help me along the path to inner freedom.

The "way to God" is not for sissies or for boasters. "Suffer the little ones to come unto me, for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Blessings of light and silence,

Swami Hrimananda

Unreal News : Meditation : the Laser Lens of the Truth Seeker.

Swami Kriyananda (1926-2013), founder of the worldwide network of intentional communities known as "Ananda," remarked occasionally that in the future, looking back over the last fifty years, the Ananda communities (and, in general, the intentional communities movement) would be one of the most important trends of our times.

And yet, for those of us who have been living and serving in such communities these last nearly fifty years, it is obvious that society at large is largely uninterested. 

We hear now often (2017-2018) the newly re-minted phrase, "fake news." But I remember when, perhaps twenty years ago, Swami Kriyananda casually remarked that most of the daily news is little better than gossip. At that time I was not entirely convinced. But over the years as I have listened or read more carefully I have come to realize how often his label of "gossip" is accurate. (For this purpose I would say that "gossip" can include speculation and mere opinion, as opposed to objectively verifiable facts or balanced and insightful explanations of current events.)

The truth of history includes the simple fact that the daily news isn't really history, nor are the headlines necessarily the key events of history. It is true that an event like September 11, 2001 will go down in history like 1492, 1776 or 1096 but these are markers, mostly for children to pass their exams or for historians and the public to bookmark into their mental timeline in order to demonstrate their (superficial) grasp of historical events.

Many gasp, moan and groan over the antics and worse of the sitting president of the United States, a trumpet player, if I'm not mistaken. Many have told me that they no longer pay much attention to the daily news as it is largely meaningless hot hair, oops, I mean hot air.

Taking the question of "What is true and what is important?" into a different direction, the art and science of meditation offers us a deeper insight into what is true--for us. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali offer a clinical evaluation of the stages of consciousness that unfold when our awareness is turned inward to seek the "what" and the "who" is behind our thinking and feeling. 

Mindfulness and introspection might reveal more about what we really think and feel but these, alone, do not reveal "who is thinking and feeling." We might answer that by saying "I" but who is this "I"?

If you answer again by restating that this "I" is the body, gender, age, opinions, thoughts and feelings, it may be the customary answer but it ignores the fact that each one of these things is subject to change and subject to many external influences which also change. Nowadays you can even change your gender! But certainly your body ages and your opinions and feelings change all the time, especially as the years go by. But the "I" is still "I" no matter WHAT the opinion, age, health or gender.

Most people would stop there and just say, well, that's right! "I change my opinions and that's who I AM." Well, ok, if you insist upon it, who am I to argue? However this definition of "I" doesn't really go to the heart of the "I," the undifferentiated bedrock of "I-ness". 

Who is it that peers out from behind the eyes? From behind the opinions? From behind the senses and the body? Who is this I who sleeps at night and reawakens each day refreshed and the same?

Whether for purposes of survival or because we are interested, it's perfectly understandable that we participate in the daily news; that we learn about history (whether our family, nationality, race, etc.) or the world. But all of this is vicarious: it's second or third hand or even far, far more removed. 

We can't really answer why the daily tweets of the presidential trumpet intrigue us (or not); or why we are fascinated with wars of the past; the history of art and fashion or science; romance novels; making furniture; or any number of other countless hobbies and interests. 

All we can say is that certain topics hold our interest. But if we were to introspect on our interests we might find that behind them are deeper, if all too human, impulses, emotional needs, or compulsions.

None of these offer a clue, however, to the consciousness of the "I" which, properly trained, can remain the observer of all our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Who is it that observes that "I am reading a book about Winston Churchill?" Or that "I am typing 'I am typing'?"

The irony behind the inquiry (called the art and science of meditation) to observe the Observer is that the long-term consequence of this daily habit is the gradual revelation of objective reality, not just subjective reality. 

Now what IS objective reality? Is it the trumpet in that white house? It could be if you happen to live or work there but otherwise, probably not. Objective reality is whatever you focus your perceptive powers upon, but with this caveat: the strength of your perceptive power determines the clarity of the image. 

"Strength" here includes calmness; non-attachment; lack of emotional charge. Stanza two of the Yoga Sutras tells us that to the degree that our perceptive power operates with a steady gaze devoid of superficial reactions of attraction or repulsion in relation to self-interest, our perceptions sharpen towards objectivity. And when the power of perception turns in upon itself, observing it-Self, it begins to acquire a super-human, laser-like power that, as it approaches its penultimate power, transcends time, space, matter, energy and consciousness itself. 

As an object approaching the speed of light is said to become infinite in mass, so it is said that as awareness approaches crystal clarity (transcendent of form, thought, emotion, or condition), it approaches the God-state of omniscience, omnipotence, and infinity.

"As above, so below" says the Hermetic doctrine. As our power of perception clarifies we begin to know by instant intuition that which is true and meaningful to us. It may not be ours to expound the deeper mysteries of space or the atom, or to live in a white house, but it may be ours to know what to say to a friend in need; how to best care for ourselves; to accomplish a worthwhile goal; to complete a project; to work harmoniously with other people; to feel confidence, calmness, and courage; and, at last to know God as our own, true Self.

Meditation sharpens our intuitive "I." But it must be more than merely mindfulness: that is, watching our thoughts go by. It must turn in upon it-Self. What it discovers in this journey is often described but, in truth, can only be known by I AM.

And on that note, I AM finished!

Swami Hrimananda