Thursday, May 14, 2020

Is This Pandemic the Beginning of "Hard Times?"

Question we received:

Hi, It feels relevant to the global times we are living in now to ask: do you at Ananda believe that this virus will soon lead to the 'Global Depression' that will be 'worse than in the 1930s' as Yogananda said? I know its hard to give an 'official answer' to a question like that but I’d rather hear your opinion since I want to be prepared for the worst (yet with a positive mindset). 

Dear Friend,

I wrote an article on this subject a while back: search on Predictions in the search bar of this blog. www.Hrimananda.org....you'll see several (Nov 2019 and March 21 2020)

For all of the fifty-plus years that Ananda has existed, Swami Kriyananda warned us of impending financial collapse based on statements made by Paramhansa Yogananda before his passing in 1952. Though there have been times and financial crises during my life when it seemed imminent, Yogananda's predictions have yet to manifest.

The current situation seems to me, and some of us, as a far more volatile mix of circumstances and thus far more likely to be the "big one."

So, with a tentativeness born of experience, I say YES! Yogananda's stern warnings about a depression far greater than that of the 1930s, during which the dollar will be all but worthless and the American economy brought to its knees, seems more likely now than any time during my 69 years of life in this body.

I recall being slightly amazed that the Federal Reserve's quantitative easing policy actually worked to lift the economy from the "Great Recession" of 2008. It already seemed our national debt and trade deficit was beyond recovery, but, then, it worked! It's difficult, however, to imagine lightning striking twice in the same spot. 

Add to our economy the connections you allude to in your note, connections with other countries such as China, and it seems ominous, to say the least.

Yogananda said that the result in America would be that we would be half as wealthy but twice as spiritual! Simple living; sustainability; compassion; calmness; cooperation; prayer and meditation. More living by these principles would be worth it all.

Yet, like the pandemic, suffering is a part of any cleansing or large scale change. Change always has an element of destructiveness. Yet, also like the pandemic, some will be untouched while others perish. Such is the great drama of life.

"The drama of life has for its lesson that it is but that: a drama." (Yogananda) We must play our parts and follow the script from the Divine Playwright so that when our part is done, we remain free as sparks of the Infinite Light. Our "job" is to live in joy and to share that joy, for this is our true nature.

Joy and blessings to you!

Nayaswami Hriman
Seattle WA USA
    

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Ending a Friendship that Doesn't Work

[Dear friends, I am sometimes asked to respond to questions that are sent to www.Ananda.org, operated by Ananda Village in California. Some of the questions are of general interest. In sharing one of them here on this blog I have erased all traces of identification.]

In the decades of being a member of Ananda and living in an Ananda (residential) community, I find that it is not uncommon that a person who takes up the spiritual path in earnest finds that a particular long-standing friendship no longer serves that person's newly adopted spiritual goals and lifestyle. The question therefore often arises "What to do about these friendships?" Do I end the relationship? We've been friends for years. What about loyalty?"

In the case below the question was more specific because the long-standing friend had a long-standing habit of verbal abuse toward the new devotee and the devotee was finding that being treated this way was increasingly intolerable. So the question that came to us was "What to do about the friendship?" And for those who would say, simply, tell the so-called friend to take a hike, the devotee was wanting to be sensitive while also firm and wondered whether there was no longer a point to even continue the friendship.

Dear Friend, 

Let's approach this from several points of view. Yes, of course, it's hurtful to be treated that way. But it's also hurtful to your friend's soul, her own self-respect, to behave in that way. Wouldn't a friend would want to help that person and, in time, wouldn't a true friend actually appreciate that help?

On the one hand, your friendship may no longer serve you spiritually speaking but on the other hand, you have been friends and loyalty is an important and valid aspect of friendship. So, let's explore together some possibilities.

Without wanting to shift the blame from her to you, let me at least point out that unintentionally your ongoing acceptance of her treatment of you is, in its own way, enabling her. I say this not to blame you but to set the stage for what follows:

So let's shift this around in the direction of a possible WIN-WIN. I don't get the sense that you no longer want her friendship; rather, it seems that you no longer can tolerate her abuse. But maybe there's a way, that a positive outcome can take place for both of you. 

For starters, what I may suggest can only be done successfully with calmness and a certain degree of non-attachment to the outcome, ok? If you are willing to experiment for a time, consider these suggestions:

1. Abuser-abusee takes two. If the abusee (egads, is THAT a word?) is not even aware of the abuse (e.g. sarcasm), the abuse may be "wrong" but it is one-sided and the abusee feels "no pain." What I am saying is that the push-you, pull-me back and forth of verbal abuse takes, in some measure, two people. One to abuse; the other to feel abused. So, what if as an experiment, and before making a decision to leave the friendship, you tried for a while simply remaining calm when verbally attacked; look calmly into her eyes without reaction. Imagine your face and eyes and entire being are a full-length mirror. In the mirror of your calm, reflective consciousness, your friend may, after some time and practice, begin to see herself (as you do--behaving inappropriately).  

2. This experiment presupposes that you both are truly friends and do, in fact, care for one another. If there's no psychic or spiritual connection (like being robbed by a random burglar), then this won't work. It's important that you not stare her down or "look daggers" when you do this. You can even smile just a little, almost sadly, as you reflect back and observe her abusive behavior. You know that little thing we do when we cock the head just slightly to one side with a questioning look on our face? Like a clinician examining a specimen?

3. What this is doing is it's you pulling out of the game. "You have the right to remain silent!" After a while, the abuser may look, well, bemused. By ending whatever little part you've played, you create a space, a vacuum that can sometimes allow the abuser the psychic space to stop the unconscious habit. You might even both have a good laugh. Hopefully, given enough time and practice, your friend will dial down her aggressive tone. 

4. This experiment doesn't preclude or doesn't require that you never address the issue or discuss your feelings. I don't know either of you but there may be other times (not often in the moment of the abuse), where you can say, "Jean, there's something I'd like to talk to you about. We've been friends for a long time and I'd like to keep it that way. But I find that your habit of talking to me sarcastically or critically is increasingly intolerable. So whaddya say you dial this stuff back? Maybe it's just old habit you got from childhood but real friends don't do that. Hmm?"

5. Now maybe, just maybe, what you are really saying to us is that the friendship is over and that it has no spiritual value, and the verbal abuse is just one symptom of that observation. From where I sit, I cannot "see" that one way or another. So if THAT'S really what you are saying, then let me offer some suggestions about going in THAT direction:

6. I'd begin by bringing into my prayers and meditations gratitude for the friendship and appreciation for my friend's finer qualities; even spiritual qualities. I'd also pray for guidance in choosing your words or circumstances or the timing of ending or withdrawing from the friendship. You don't want to leave the friendship on a negative note if you can help it.

7. I might suggest you consider reducing or ending regular contact from the point of view that you just need to take a break. This is not unlike a friend who has died. A deceased friend is no longer physically present but they still live in your memory and in your heart. Thus don't see it as a rejection, worse yet a condemnation or judgment. In fact, since it's not good for her to behave this way, by ceasing contact you do her a favor! By taking a "break" you release the internal tension around rejection or ending a friendship.

Remind yourself that we are ALL children of God. We just have unique paths to take and all the "time in the world" to take it. Think: "We will meet again for we are friends eternally in our one Father-Mother, Beloved-Friend, God."

7.5 In offering prayers for your friend, hold her image in your mind's eye (spiritual eye) surrounded by joy and light, with the Divine Image of God, guru, or Divine Mother behind her AS her.

8. Outwardly, rather than make an abrupt break which will surely cause hurt feelings, I would suggest you see how to ease out by fewer and fewer contacts. It would be best if you not feel compelled to resort to made-up excuses or "white lies." Ask Divine Mother to show you or give you the natural and right opportunities. 

9. On a positive note do not underestimate the power of the following: A shift of your energy and interests can make all the difference. Spend more time getting involved with people whose consciousness and behavior support your spiritual aspirations. Taking meditation or yoga classes (online, these days, I suppose). Ananda has a "Virtual Community" online. Re-direct your own creative initiative and energies (and time) in the directions you wish to go. This changes the vibration of your consciousness and your aura and even your friend may find, subtly, that she's no calling or contacting you as often. (It's like having a divine virus!) Be sure you are reading spiritual books or watching videos from Ananda on YouTube. CHANGE YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS --- CHANGE YOUR FRIENDS!!!!

In fact, you can do BOTH of these things: experiment with not reacting to your friend's abusive words, AND, re-directing your own energies. The obvious incompatibility of vibration and consciousness will subtly guide each of you in new and different directions. Patience, perhaps, maybe all that is needed.

I sincerely hope that this will work because your intention seems sincere and not vengeful. 

Blessings and may the divine Light show you the way through this! [end of response]

Maybe there are others who might find some useful tips in the above response. Paramhansa Yogananda stated that much of our spiritual progress is determined by the company we keep. Friendship, or fellowship, is far more important and supportive of our ideals than even our own self-efforts in the privacy of our "sheltering at home." Hence the plethora of online spiritual offerings! We are not an "island" (though some of us live on an island, ha, ha). But like an island, we are all connected below the surface of our differences. 

Blessings and joy to you!

Swami Hrimananda