Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aging. Show all posts

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Last Stage of Life : When the Chronic Chickens Come Home to Roost!

I see in myself and in others my age (over 60) the beginning stages of health issues that, when younger, would perhaps come and go but now appear to be turning chronic, or at least more difficult to ignore or to function normally when in the midst of an episode. 

I also see in myself and in others my (over 60) that we spend an increasing amount of time and money to obtain an accurate diagnosis and experimenting with a variety of treatments. 

I am referring to the wide range of illnesses broadly covered by the term inflammation and presumably linked in one way or another with auto immune responses. [This, in one simple sentence, exhausts the entire depth of my medical knowledge.] These maladies, as opposed to more straight forward medical treatments such as knee or hip replacements, corrective surgeries on toes or hands, dental implants, or even heart procedures and also unrelated to the broad spectrum of cancer treatments, are difficult to diagnose and treat. They are also great candidates for naturopathy, homeopathy, Ayurveda, herbs, acupuncture, and massage.

Naturally one should do what one can to assuage or even cure the body's troubles. But do I see much success in this realm of illnesses? Not really. I see a lot of time and money being spent, but very little actual results. 

I have read seemingly everything imaginable on skin disorders but no where and no one claims to know their cause or their cure. I've read every diet or elimination diet imaginable. But in these realms treatments run the gamut from merely symptomatic, mostly (self) experimental, hypothetical and, of course, sooner or later, one finds an old fashion out and out fraud.

As a yogi and a dogma-drenched believer in karma and reincarnation I veritably gloat and glow in the prospect of such mighty concepts as "past bad karma" that could take lifetimes to overcome!!!!!! "Ha, ha, ha: Catch 22." It's the metaphysical equivalent of "take two aspirin and call me in the morning!" Our bottom line explanation for anything we can't explain.

If I was taught only one thing by my beloved teacher, Swami Kriyananda--one mantra that I repeat under stress and under all conditions--it is this: BOTH-AND. Now repeat this: BOTH-AND. Sit down; have a candy cigarette as I explain and digress. This is deep stuff, so listen up.

"Swamiji" led a life under enormous "stress," most self-imposed (like creating for himself writing deadlines for his 150 books or pouring out 400 pieces of music; rushing to give thousands of public lectures, traveling tens of thousands car miles and millions of airplane miles---you get the idea). His physical health challenges and conditions warrant a non-fiction medical novel. Maybe his doctor and friend, Dr. Peter Van Houten will write that book someday. Maybe Swamiji never had leprosy, but that could be the only one he forgot to get. He accepted various medical treatments, procedures and surgeries but he took them all in as God's grace and will. He seemed somewhat indifferent to the plethora of medications he was instructed to take. Only with the insistent help from his staff, did he manage to take any of them.

But did these many health challenges stop him from a lifetime only one week of which would have exhausted you or me? No! And why? Oh, simple: his mantra: BOTH-AND! He could both be at death's door and, the same evening, give a lecture to hundreds. Just think what you could accomplish with that mantra! It is all God: Doer, doing, done. As he would remind us, owing to many things like health, energy and talent, he couldn't do any of those many things. But God could do all of them. He, Kriyananda, simply wasn't the Doer.

Applying now, at long last (you've been waiting, I know) this magic mantra, BOTH-AND, to our chickens who have come home to roost (no, not roast), you'll finally see where I am going with this very profound article: do what you can to alleviate your illnesses but at the same time be prepared for the fact that these are karmic tests. The real test is probably the degree of equanimity, faith, energy, and cheerfulness (and if you're REALLY GOOD: gratitude) you can bring to bear while going about your karma-imposed, God-inspired duties each day. But this is only the beginning. There's more.

Swamiji used to periodically tell the story of one "Sufi woman saint: Rabbi'a. She lay upon her deathbed, her body ill and in pain. Three disciples of hers came to console her. "He is no lover of God, after all," said one, "who is not willing to suffer for God's sake." "This smacks of egoism to me," replied the saint. Another of the disciples attempted a correction. "He is no true lover of God who is not happy to suffer for God's sake." "More than this is needed," she replied. "Then you tell us, Mother," said the third. "What should be the right attitude for a lover of God." "He is no true lover of God," she said, "who does not forget his suffering in the contemplation of the Supreme Beloved." **

(**excerpted from Swamiji's book, "A Place Called Ananda: Chapter 16, Afterthoughts")

It has been well said that a healing is not a cure. If we wish to be healed, we must try our best but leave the rest (to God). As I like to joke: we don't get out of this life, alive. Our bodies will need some excuse to die. We may not know the physical, mental or spiritual causes of our persistent illnesses but by remaining centered and even-minded, by focusing increasingly on experiencing God as the only Doer and actor in your life, the seeds of past karma will be roasted by cauterizing the Ego-principle. The details of past karma don't really matter. Here and now is the only reality: God Alone.

Joy and blessings,

Swami Hrimananda

Monday, September 26, 2016

Self-acceptance vs self-acceptance! All life is a play

Note: today, September 26, is the anniversary date in 1895 when the great yogi, Yogavatar, Lahiri Mahasaya (Shyama Charan Lahiri) left his physical body in the conscious exit known as "mahasamadhi" of a great saint. To ready about his life and service and spiritual attainments visit the newly created website: www.Lahiri-Mahasaya.org.

In a few days I will have attained the ripe old age of 66! Fortunately for me, 66 is the new 56 (or younger). What I find characterizes this stage of life is the need for self-acceptance.

Actually, there is a need for both self-acceptance AND Self-acceptance.

During one's middle life, working-type years, one is constantly pushing and striving. For most people that effort is to acquire material possessions, human love, family, success, health and recognition of one sort or another. Nothing wrong with these goals up to a point, as they are both natural and necessary for the development of character and maturity for most people.

It's like walking against a strong wind in your face. You lean into the wind, head down, pushing with all your strength and effort. If, after hours of struggle, the wind were suddenly to abate, you might even fall flat on your face! Certainly you'd feel some relief but also some disorientation. 

When fighting a battle it isn't the time to assess the costs or other consequences. Only when victory or defeat becomes a fact, do we stand up, take a deep breath, and view the result.

So it often is with life itself. There comes a point where "effort ends in ease." Let me explain: first, not for everyone, of course, nor am I talking about the classic point of one's retirement from active, working life. Nowadays with 66 - 76 being the new 56-66, it is common for many to want to continue working, even if they don't need to. Why? Because being still healthy and creative, and even at the pinnacle of one's skills, there's simply no desire to step down and do what......exactly?

Nonetheless, therefore, even for those who continue an active, service-full life, there will likely be a shift in consciousness. One finds stories from one's past popping into your head and speech (only in later years do they start repeating themselves with little or no prompting or context!!!!)

One begins to reflect upon one's life and experiences naturally and spontaneously. The metabolism perhaps slows, wisdom flows naturally as do opportunities (and the need) for mentoring or guiding others, perhaps one's future successors. 

But something else is likely to happen, and, even before what I describe above is in full force: the "chickens come home to roost." This means that unfulfilled desires, perhaps shoved aside in the process of making life choices, such as marriage and family, and contending with life's middle-aged duties and obligations and intense activities, raise their flag as if to say, "Remember me? The clock of your life is ticking and little time is left to fulfill your 'bucket list'"!

This is not dissimilar to a "mid-life crises" and in fact that may even be when these chickens return to roost. That's why I say this stage is likely to happen BEFORE the reflective stage.

In this crises of self-examination and self-awareness, we may stumble a bit with moods, depression, anger, frustration and even some pretty dumb things done or said impulsively.

For those who set about emptying their bucket list, they may be simply postponing the stage of self-acceptance or perhaps their adventures in pursuing their list is an active form of self-acceptance.

Whether self-acceptance takes the form of contentment, calmness and wisdom or the somewhat more active form of pursuing one's not-yet-achieved dreams (travel, e.g., being typical), the process is more or less the same though I am speaking more of the reflective stage than the active stage (which by necessity is short-lived usually---due to health, money or a list that is finally completed). 

Reflectively, like the wake of a speed boat whose waves slow and spread out as the boat comes gradually to a stop, we now begin to see our life and our personality (habits, tendencies, and even our now aging appearance) in a clearer light and perspective (than when, during middle life, we were constantly in motion pursuing fulfillment in the future tense of life). 

No doubt we won't like everything we see. A variety of emotions will surface: denial, anger, grief....the usual litany.....all leading (one hopes) to self-acceptance. Self-acceptance leads to contentment. Contentment to reflection and reflection to wisdom. This is where most people stop.

For the yogi and the devotee who seeks Truth, who seeks to know God, joy, the light of the soul or eternal freedom in infinite bliss, self-acceptance leads to Self-acceptance.

As a grandfather I find it natural to delight in my grandchildren's innocence and childhood even as I reflect on their budding traits and their possible evolution and challenges as they grow towards adulthood. 

As a yogi, these flower-buds of traits are but a sampling of the infinite variety of traits, experiences, attitudes, and lives our souls can pursue. 

It is natural therefore to step away from identification with my own life story and personality and re-affirm more deeply and with greater interest (as the clock of life is ticking away) my soul's call to awaken in the perfect bliss of God. 

"The drama of life has for its lesson that it is but a drama," Paramhansa Yogananda stated. At this stage of life, that's all life seems to be: a drama. Whether this year's politics, last year's wars and catastrophes----all a great play wherein tears and laughter, pleasure and pain alternate like actors changing costumes and roles.

The lesson in this insight is to turn away (not in rejection but with contentment and gratitude for having been part of a good show) and climb the spiral staircase (of the spine) to the "heaven (as Jesus put it) that is within you." We must now more soberly contemplate that, for us, the play is in its final act(s). The time is coming when we must "exit, stage right."

Joy and grace upon a sun-kissed Seattle day whose hidden melancholy whispers that "winter is coming."

Swami Hrimananda